Playoff Peach-Fuzz: A Critique of the Upcoming New York Rangers Playoff Beards

They serve as a symbol of how far you've come in the world of hockey. Every team is in on it; it's a tradition. The act of growing a playoff beard has been a superstition among hockey fans and players for as long as anyone can remember. To grow the biggest, bushiest, messiest beard you can during the NHL Playoffs in hopes that once you reach the mountain top, you can enjoy the best shave of your life.

Here are some Rangers who show potential to grow some awesome fur in the upcoming playoffs.

Bushy and Rugged


Henrik Lundqvist 

Unless Vogue calls up with another offer for a photo shoot, I hope Hank grows out something for us Rangers fans to enjoy. It would be nice to see the potential for the man in net to grow out a big fluffy one if the Ragers can make a deep run in the playoffs. However, knowing Hank, the superstitious man that he is, if he feels it interferes even slightly in his play, he won't grow one. But as a treat for the fans, I hope we get the chance to witness gloriousness on top of gloriousness that is his face.

Brian Boyle

Not sure how much ice time the big man will get once the Rangers go to the playoffs, but I think the big guys got beard potential. We got a glimpse of what Double B can do with his facial hair in last years playoffs, but hopefully he can have enough time to grow it out so he can, you know, actually intimidate someone on the ice.

Dan Girardi

You don't block shots like Dan Girardi does and not have the hormones to grow an awesome playoff beard. Girardi is the bona-fide playoff beard sleeper. Looking at Danny, you may not think he has the potential to make something work with his beard, but I remember glimpses of an awesome beard back when the Rangers played the Penguins in the second round of the playoffs a few years back, and he can grow one. It will be nice to see a fine patch grow among that chiseled chin of his, too.

Ryan Callahan


A fine captain needs a fine playoff beard. And since we will have Captain Cally at the helm this years playoffs, he must grace us with a beard. Callahan is as rough and tumble as they come, and if is actions were a facial hair, they'd be a Chuck Norris beard. And if you have a problem picturing his beard, imagine how it will look when he skates up to Gary Bettman after hearing the words "Captain Ryan Callahan, come get the Stanley Cup!" *chills*

Brandon Dubinsky


...

...I think the picture speaks for itself.


So now that we've looked at the players who show great potential for growing an awesome playoff beard, let's take a look at the youngsters who are bound for peach-fuzz, or nothing at all.

Peach-Fuzz


Ruslan Fedotenko


Do you know any five-year-olds who can grow beards? I didn't think so. Looking back on pictures of Feds when he was with Tampa Bay and Pittsburgh when he won those Cups, and it baffles me really. I can't even tell if he didn't try or not, because it appears he is physically incapable of growing facial hair. Whatever though, if he scores 14 points for the Rangers in the playoffs, I'll forget all about his lack of hair.

Michael Del Zotto

I hate to rag on the kid because he's playing so well, but I do not thing McDeezy is playoff beard material. I feel like the only way we'd get to see some lumberjack on Del Zotto is if the Rangers make a deep run in the playoffs. And if they do, it'll likely look like Steven Stamkos' playoff beard last year. It will just look weird on his nubile face.


Derek Stepan


If Del Zotto won't be able to grow one, the Stepan definitely won't be able to grow one. I only say this because he is a youngster and he hasn't grown into his man body to develop a man's beard yet. We'll likely get some fuzz from Stepan, but aside from that, I don't think we'll get much of anything that we'd get from Hank or Cally.

Carl Hagelin


This blogger thinks Hagelin has a lot going against him trying to grow a playoff beard. His age, and color of his hair make it seem that he won't be able to grow a fine beard come playoff time. I give him the benefit of the doubt though. If the Rangers go on a run, I think he can turn into kind of a hockey Thor so to say. But until then, Haggy just appears to not be able to pull one off.

As for this blogger, I will most certainly be growing out whatever hair I can muster up on my face until the day the Rangers postseason ends, no matter how soon or far that may be (hopefully far). And we here at the Clinic diagnose everyone who may read this to do the same.