Dr. Dap's 2012 NHL Playoff Predictions

It all comes down to this. A four-round, best-of-seven, free-for-all in the postseason of the NHL. All these teams who worked tirelessly all year to get their seeding finally get to show their real grit on the biggest stage this side of the Olympics.

Two Conferences. Eight Teams. One Winner. Here's the Clinics personal predictions of the entire 2012 NHL postseason.

Rangers Fan Reality Check: Calm Down, People

I'm starting to write this in the waning moments of the Penguins game, so if the Rangers win, this is all just irrelevant.

The Rangers lost badly to the Penguins tonight, and just like clockwork, I see everyone I know on every fan page freaking out over one loss. We here at the Clinic are here to plead with you: put your pants back on and relax you crazy people.

Years of following the Rangers has taught me a lot about myself. It taught me to not be too emotionally attached to games, because if you are and you are a Rangers fan, you're going to be more testy that a high school girl during that time of the month. It taught me that some problems cannot be solved with drastic changes to any environment; hence why most lucrative free-agent signings for the Rangers never panned out. And most importantly, it taught me to respect a good thing when I have it.

The game is not even over, and I have already seen #wewantavery or #wewantnash on Twitter and Facebook. People are freaking out over this one game, and it frankly annoys the living crap out of me. Why am I not upset? Because it's a small ripple of the season. Yes, I'm not happy that they lost, but I'm not frustrated to the point where I suggest we overhaul the team over a loss to a very good hockey team.

2/21/12 Rangers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

Knibb High Football Rules!

Rangers against the Pittsburgh Penguins.

The Rangers and Penguins meet for the fourth time this season, the second time in Pittsburgh. The Rangers have taken two out of the three previous meetings, while the Penguins took the most recent one on Jan. 19 to the score of 4-1. The Rangers are coming off of a quick OT game against Columbus two nights ago where the Jackets tied it up late, but Derek Stepan managed to tuck one in 22 seconds into the overtime period to win the game. The Rangers played a fairly solid game for the most part against the Jackets, held the puck for most of the game, and seemed to control the tempo. But a late-game gaffe when Rick Nash sniped one over the shoulder of Henrik Lundqvist sent the game to OT. The Rangers are playing very well as of recently. They have won five out of their last six games, and Henrik Lundqvist has been absolutely stellar when called upon. Players are stepping up and scoring, and the team seems to be just as cohesive as they have been all season. But tonight, they face a very amped up Pittsburgh team.

Despite not having Sidney Crosby for so long, the Pens have dug into their bag of tricks and have pulled out a team that has been able to hang with the rest of the division. James Neal and Evgeni Malkin have combined for most of the Penguins goals, and have lead the team through troubled times. Despite the lack of Crosby, the Penguins are just as dangerous.

11/29/11 Rangers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

Comin' to you live from the middle of the rainy epicenter of the universe.

Rangers against the Pittsburgh Penguins.

It seems fitting that the Rangers are playing the Penguins today after playing two conference rivals in the Flyers and Capitals, and now have yet another huge task in front of them tonight with the best team in the league at the moment. The Rangers shut down every possible hole they had against the Flyers as they won the game by shutting them out 2-0. Henrik Lundqvist was sharp against the best offensive team in the league, and will more than likely get the start once again tonight. Now that the Rangers are home, where they have performed very well so far this season, it's time once again to get back to the work they know how to do against another mammoth competitor tonight.

The Top 10 Rangers Games of the 2010-2011 Season: Part 3

#3: April 9, 2011 (Rangers 5 - Devils 2)


In dramatic fashion like the previous year, the final game of the season would have decided the Rangers fate. This year, they had to face the New Jersey Devils, and a win was necessary to get two points on the Carolina Hurricanes who had the tiebreaker for the final playoff spot with the Rangers. The Rangers got backed up a bit, as Ilya Kovalchuk snapped an early goal past Henrik Lundqvist early on. His goal was promptly followed up by the man regarded as "Captain Clutch", Chris Drury as he got his first goal of the season after coming back from an injury. Late in the period, the Devils would get another goal coming again from Ilya Kovalchuk, the final goal of the game they would get. Nearly two-minutes into the 2nd period, Wojtek Wolski converted on a 2-on-1 to deadlock the score at two. Ten minutes later, another Ranger would get his first goal of the season, and his first NHL goal, as Ryan McDonagh got a brilliant pass from Vinny Prospal behind the net and put the Rangers ahead 3-2. Five minutes later, Brandon Prust got a lucky slide that went in, and in the 3rd, Vinny Prospal got one more to cement a victory on the last game of the regular season. It was a must-win game for the Rangers, who needed help from the Tampa Bay Lightning to get into the playoffs. The chants of "Lets Go Lightning" rang up from the crowd as the game would down and a victory was almost certain. The Rangers got that help, as the Lightning defeated the Hurricanes, and sent the Rangers to the playoffs, but none of that could have been possible without this one goal.

EA's NHL: What Your Team Selection Says About You

Like any other hockey fan, I like to enjoy some leisure time by playing some of EA's NHL series on my coveted gaming system. I normally like to just play a quick game between another person, and like most online communities, a majority of player I face are huge jerkoffs. Having played NHL 11 over and over again against multiple douches, I've noticed a trend among the type of players, and their playing style coincides with what team they choose when selecting the match up. Some people are fun to play as, and pick their favorite team like me (a majority of the time I play as the Rangers), or they choose a random team regardless of stats (is this a good time to mention my 7-game win-streak with the Thrashers?). However, others you can pinpoint their personality by the team they select/their lobby mannerisms. Here's a full breakdown of the social phylum of the EA's NHL franchises online community:

If a Person Selects The Team in First Place In Real Life At the Time


Chances are they suck, and are looking to compensate for their lack of skill by selecting the best team. A majority of my time this season went into playing the same three teams because people don't have enough faith in their own skill. Here's a pro-tip for all those people: the teams good stats does not make up for the lack of skill and motor functions you fail to possess. Any player can select the real-life first place team and win, selecting them on a consistent basis shows that you admit you suck at the game.

If a Person Shuffles the Preset Lines to Put the Best Players on the Top Line


This one pretty much goes with the first one; the person sucks at the game and wants to compensate for their suckage. Again, this is not real-life, and shuffling the lines will only marginally help you if you are bad at the game, like most people who do this are. Anybody who has a competent understanding of the basics of the game can score a hat-trick with Donald Brashear if they tried hard enough.

If a Person Plays as the Pittsburgh Penguins


Something about choosing the Penguins makes everyone who plays as them become like them. The Penguins are widely regarded by NHL fans as being one of the most whimpy teams in the league, thanks in majority to their centerpiece Sidney Croscussion...er... Crosby.

Press "Y" to be a bitch.

The people who choose the Penguins are some of the holiest of the assholes you'll find online. The Penguins are the team that the guys who will spend more time diving to get the puck from you then actually on their feet will choose to play as.  These are the people who will do nearly anything (diving, spamming the hook button) to win, no matter how womanly their play style is.

Matt Cooke Suspended 14+ Games

Ladies and gentlemen, justice has been brought to to the wicked.

Matt Cooke, long time NHL forward, agitator, and cheap shot artist has been suspended for the remainder of the regular season, which consists of ten more games for the Penguins, as well as the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Cooke will also be losing $219,512.20 in salary from the games he misses.

Cooke, who had been suspended once already this season, was up to his normal antics in New York when he delivered a blindside elbow to the head of Rangers defenseman Ryan McDonagh. McDonagh  was not seriously injured, but Cooke was escorted off the ice and given a 5-minute game-misconduct penalty. At the time of the elbow, the game was tied 1-1. The Penguins managed to score shorthanded, but the Rangers quickly used Cooke's actions as motivation and scored four goals in the 3rd period to win the game 5-2. (video below)

Cooke's track record more than likely played a part in his suspension, for he has been suspended multiple times throughout his years he's been in the NHL. Earlier this season, Cooke was suspended after delivering a similar elbow to the head of Bruins center Marc Savard. Savard suffered a serious concussion and was pronounced to not be able to return to the lineup for the remainder of this season, and possibly longer considering Marc Savard's history with concussions. To see more of Matt Cooke's cheap shots throughout the year, check out his history of violence, provided by Tolensky.com.

A question that is going to be brewing among the NHL fan base is going to be: is Cooke's suspension going to be enough? Will Matt Cooke learn from this harsh punishment and never throw another elbow in his career? The answer is: probably not. 

Cooke has been in the league since 1998. Clearly, throughout countless reprimands from the league, teams, and Evander Kane, Matt Cooke has still not learned his lesson. It's hard to believe that after such a long stretch of aggression, Cooke is finally going to be born again and be some hockey saint after this incident. My only hopes as a hockey fan are that Cooke gets scratched from more and more games so that he can no longer potentially deliver any more blows like this to another player ever again.

Recapping the Rangers/Penguins 3/20/11

What a hard fought, fun game it was to watch today as a New York Rangers fan.

First off, my apologies for not providing a pre-game post like normal. Today is my final day of spring break, and I wanted to enjoy the sleep.

Defense was solid during the first half of the game by the Rangers, allowing one goal on a miscommunication between Girardi and Eminger. Jordin Staal broke free from the pack and tied the game after Anisimov's tip-in in front of the net earlier. The second period was not very eventful, for these teams were saving it all for the third.

The drama began with Matt Cooke being, well, his normal dirty self by throwing an elbow to the head of Ryan McDonagh. Cooke received a five-minute game-misconduct penalty. During that penalty kill,  Chris Kunitz managed to break free short-handed, and rifled it by Lundqvist. Following that, Matt Niskanen found himself taking a high sticking penalty after hitting soon-to-be captain Ryan Callahan on the bridge of the nose, bloodying him. Niskanen received a four-minute double minor for this event.

Marian Gaborik managed to find the back of the net for the Rangers after a hard-fought battle in-front of Marc-Andre Fleury. And promptly eleven seconds later, Ryan Callahan came in on a bad angle and sneaked one by the shoulder of Fleury, top shelf where momma hides the cookies to take the lead back.

Later on in the period, Ryan McDonagh managed to draw a tripping call to himself. The Rangers managed to kill of the penalty, and cleared it perfectly to when McDonagh was getting out of the box. McDonagh missed on the breakaway, but rookie Derek Stepan followed up and tucked it home for McDonagh.

The game was decided by the score of 5-2 coming off of a Brandon Dubinsky empty-net goal. Lundqvist stopped 38 of 40 shots faced, despite some neck soreness suffered by a collision during the Montreal game.

As for Matt Cooke, my guess will be he will be suspended, but not for very long. I took the liberty of spinning the "Wheel of Justice" for the NHL (at http://www.nhlwheelofjustice.com/) and it was determined that Cooke's play is a "hockey play". However, since Matt Cooke is a repeat offender, I see 1-3 games being missed by him, just on his track record.

Enjoy your Sunday everyone!